common fears about labor & how to face them

I would like to start this out by saying that there isn't a way to totally get rid of fear, but there are ways to get past the fear and do it anyway. Birth is one of those things that you usually have to do if you want to have a baby. You have about nine months total to prepare for it, as long as there are no complications. It's something that you just have to do. I love the quote "be scared and do it anyway." SO SO GOOD.

There is another element to birth though. I think it is important to acknowledge the culture that we live in, especially in the USA that just has this overwhelming fear about birth. You can read a little bit about how we got this way here. What I really want to say is that you have the intuition to have a successful birth, you know your body best. To feel confident in birth, you need to be curious about what you fear the most. When we fear something, I think that our instinct is to stay away from it, but with pregnancy and birth you can't do that you have to face it. So before we begin, I challenge you to research and really dive into what you fear, be truly curious about it.

So lets get started!!!

How will I get through the pain?!

This is probably THE most common fear every woman has about labor. It's very valid, given all the horror stories about birth we hear while we are growing up, the T.V. shows and movies we watch have nothing but terrible things to show about labor. It is always a woman screaming and just so out of control, but labor is more than just about the pain. Labor can be a beautiful thing, where your body is working with you by using waves (contractions), hormones and movement to get baby out. You can do things like breathing exercises and practicing different positions to give birth in. Do this leading up to birth and they will help bring comfort because your body will have muscle memory and relax. Exercising throughout pregnancy will help you build stamina and help you get through a long labor. Resting and relaxing your body during labor it also super important, during the first stage of labor you can totally do this at home and the breathing exercises will help!!!

Some tools that can help you out during labor are

• a tens machine

• shower or a bath

• epidural

• eating and drinking

• a comb to squeeze

• having someone apply counter pressure

• some of you best hype music or relaxing music

• a doula!

Will I tear.... what about an episiotomy?

This is a real possibility, a quick google search will tell you that 9 out of 10 first time moms tear. There is some information out there that say that you are less likely to tear if you push when you feel the urge to push. Not giving birth on your back might help as well, kneeling or squatting has an easier route for baby to come out. That provides less strain for mom to push and baby can slowly stretch the perinea instead of just rushing through. You can also have your husband (or yourself) do a perinea stretch while your pregnant, starting in the third trimester. Here is a video on how.

As for episiotomies, if you do not want one, you can ask your care provider if and under what circumstances do they do them. An episiotomy is a cut that a doctor will make instead of letting you tear naturally. It honestly isn't and shouldn't really be practiced anymore. There is no research that shows benefits and it does more harm than good and they don't heal as well as tears do.

My epidural not working and maybe I want some more info on epidurals...

Did you know that an epidural can fail? If it does, it can make birth really difficult and may lead to birth trauma. Epidurals can only be placed by an anesthetist. It involves a really long needle and putting that between your spinal discs, then inserting a catheter that releases the anesthetic into your spine and numbing you from your belly down. Sometime they don't put the catheter in the right spot, so it doesn't numb you. Sometimes it only works for one side of the body.

When I go my epidural, my bed was lifted up and I was looking at my husband so I didn't see the needle. My epidural did work and I was able to keep it on the lowest setting so I could still feel contractions and feel my baby descend, you can read my birth story here.

Some side effects and a little bit of a reality check when you are thinking about getting an epidural. Short term, are headaches, low blood pressure, feeling sick, and slow breathing. There is a risk for paralysis, because they are poking around your spinal cord. You might experience pain in your back at the injection sight, infection and bleeding at the epidural sight.

Epidurals are becoming a little more controversial, people are becoming more aware that they are made with opioids/narcotics. They say that they don't cross over to baby, but babies born after epidurals are more tired and can have slow breathing. They also might struggle with initiating breastfeeding because they are tired, I kind of wonder if this is what happened with my baby.

Ultimately this is a decision you are going to have to make. Epidurals can be really amazing for moms, but they are just one tool in your tool belt for managing pain. Laboring in a warm bath is almost as effective as an epidural is! You have options and epidurals aren't the only option for pain relief!

One more thing, the tape they use to tape all the cords to you HURTS so bad to take off and will probably take more than one shower to get the good off with... just something that no one tells you!

Is pooping really a thing?!

Yes! You are using all the same muscles to push that baby as you do when you're pooping. Quite honestly, your care doesn't care and they see it all the time. You don't usually notice because you are focused on labor. My husband put on a mask because he obviously didn't like the smell, but he was prepared for me to poop because I told him hahaha!

So there you have it! Some common fears that you and other mamas will be facing as you give birth. If you have more fears that you want me to touch on, let me know in the comments!

P.S. This book is really great to help prepare your mind for labor and beyond.