healing from birth trauma

I first want to say, if you are here because you have experienced birth trauma, I am so sorry and I wish that I could give you a big hug. You are not alone I have been here. You are stronger than you think you are, the fact that you are looking for help is a sign of your strength. Hopefully this will help you get the help that you need.

At least one in three women experience birth trauma. That is about thirty-three percent. coincidentally, thirty percent of women in the us struggle with post partum depression or anxiety. I think that they are very much intertwined and if you prevent the trauma in the first place, women can have a much happier first year with their baby, which is a discussion for a different day. But if you have already experienced trauma from your birth then you need to feel it, process it and heal the trauma.

I love this definition of trauma.

"Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences."

How about we talk about where you birth went wrong, when you felt out of control. For me, it was after my water had broken and labor wasn't progressing like it should have. For you, maybe it was the same, your baby was born way too early, a cesarean section was kinda forced on you, natural birth didn't feel like an option, your epidural didn't work as well as you would've liked, maybe you lost your baby, there are about a million ways that birth can go wrong and feel like it was disastrous.

Quite honestly, I think a lot of trauma and postpartum depression stem from how pregnant women are treated in labor, another topic for another day...

Eventually that baby came out and now you are left with this wound that no one else can see, but you feel it and it is crushing you. What do you do now? First let me tell you a secret.. you have already done the hardest part, admitting that you need help and having the desire to work through it. So lets keep going:

• go see your care provider (find a new one if you need to) be honest with them and yourself that you need better support to come up with a care plan that will work best for you.

• find a therapist that specializes it birth trauma, post partum mood disorders, EDMR or CBT. You can ask your care provider, friends or look on this website.

• do some research about birth... find out what choices led your birth to go the way it did this will help with processing.

• share your story with people you trust. Family or friends are a great place to go for this, especially spouses or friends that have experienced birth trauma too.

• have a support system

• remember that this is a journey and give yourself time and grace to heal.

• this book is a really great book to help process your birth! 10/10 recommend!

In birth there is only one guarantee... that there will be a baby that is born. How that baby is born, is not known until it happens. We hope for a beautiful birth, where we are listening to our bodies and our care team listening to us, but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes we are left with wounds that people can't see, and that is isolating. You have hoped everything with your pregnancy and birth had gone smoothly and it didn't. Your baby is here and the situation was out of your control and you are left to pick up the pieces. I hope that you find the support and help that you deserve. You got this mama, you are stronger than you think you are.