a doula's reaction to the labor and delivery nurse's "icks"

Have you ever wondered why doulas are so passionate that mamas get to make the decisions in their birth? I watched a TikTok the other day from some nurses in Georgia explaining their “icks” about what the moms and dads do during labor that bother them. Here's the link if you want to watch it. I picked the ones that stood out to me.

The three “icks” these nurses have that you can learn from

1. Eating and drinking during labor

2. Wanting to forgo an epidural

3. Showering during labor

And more!!

Can you eat and drink during labor?

The very first nurse said, “ my ick is when you come in for you induction talkin’ about can I take a shower and eat?”. We will get to the shower in a minute, but not eating during labor is an outdated policy. It comes from when women were actually put under general anesthesia for birth and had a risk of choking. Now, we RARELY use general anesthesia, only for emergent C-sections.

Studies have shown that eating and drinking during labor can help the mom. Labor on average lasts 20 hours. Not eating during that time can put you and your baby in distress. Which then leads to those interventions that you might be avoiding. I don’t think that you will be wanting to have a feast during labor, but granola bars, honey sticks, energy drinks, popsicles, nuts, just small snacks throughout the labor can be very beneficial for you and your baby.

Showering or taking a bath during birth

The second part of that nurse's “ick” was the mom wanting a shower while she is in labor. Now it can be very inconvenient, especially in the hospital to take a shower or a bath. You have to take off all the monitoring stuff, all the wires, and whatever else, I don’t know! Make sure that the woman doesn’t fall and help her get undressed, it’s probably just a whole big thing, BUT water is the next best thing for pain relief to an epidural! YES, you read that right… warm water can provide almost as much pain relief as an epidural. I can attest to this. I was “allowed” to get into the shower for about 15 minutes during my labor. It felt amazing, it was refreshing. I also had an epidural, I honestly can’t say that there was a difference. So, shouldn’t the nurse be like “YES! Let’s try the water, whatever you want mama!”

Wanting a natural birth and not feeling the support you need

This one is near and dear to my heart. One nurse said her “ick” was “saying you don’t want any pain medicine, no epidural, but you’re at eight out of ten pain with just a cervidil and you’re still closed.” A cervidil is a vaginal insert that helps to soften the cervix to open it up and baby can come out. This nurse should be able to help with more than putting you on an epidural. Maybe she could make sure you feel safe. Help dim the lights. Help with the pain with a tens machine or suggest a bath. An epidural does not fix everything.

When I was giving birth the nurses kind of pushed an epidural on me because my labor wouldn’t progress. Now that I look at it with more knowledge about how birth happens and progresses, my labor didn’t progress because I didn’t feel safe, I was tired and hungry. Your labor has more to do with your environment than it does with your body “just not working”.

The attitude of your midwife, doctor, and nurse affects your birth

All of these nurses were arrogant. They make you feel like you are less than. You’re not. You are a woman that needs to be supported while you’re in the middle of the most vulnerable event of your life. Birth is not a sickness. It isn’t something that needs to be fixed. As someone that will support births, it isn’t my job to push my ideals and “icks” on you. It is my job to support you in whatever decisions you make in your birth. What you think is best for you and your baby. I don’t know better than you, they don’t know better than you because this is your birth.

My “ick” is when doctors, nurses, or midwives try to make birth something they can control instead of taking a step back and just letting the body do its thing. Your body was designed to give birth. You call the shots.

That is a soap box I will never get off of. I heard that these nurses have been fired, which is a good thing. Women deserve better support than this. Hopefully nurses, doctors, midwives and doulas learn for this. Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think in the comments!